workplace bully can take your dream job into a job of drudgery. They can harm morale, decrease productivity, and just make work life miserable. Confronting a bully is difficult, however, you may benefit and even succeed with a bully. Whether they’re your colleague, client, boss, manager, etc. You can learn how to keep these abusers in check with these best books on workplace bullying
|What is Abuse in the Workplace?|
|Best Books on Workplace Bullying: The List|
|Final Thoughts on Best Books on Workplace Bullying|
What is Abuse in the Workplace?
Abuse in the workplace is a behavior, conduct, and attitude that may cause workers to feel threatened and may lose productivity, decrease morale, and even cause physical or emotional harm to the person. These types of abuses may involve any kind of bullying, harassment of many natures, discrimination, or violence.
Best Books on Workplace Bullying: THE LIST
1 – Negotiating with a Bully | By Greg Williams
Everyone has felt bullied at some point in their lives, whether by a family member, childhood acquaintance, colleague, boss, or client. You know you have been bullied when you feel pressured, demeaned, and angered. You walked away from a negotiation feeling like you lost ground. You gave into demands and agreed to something that was not in your best interests. You resented the way you felt.
Negotiating with a Bully will teach you how to skillfully deal with bullies in different forms and environments. You’ll explore the mindset of a bully and understand the motivations and behavior so you can gain an advantage over him or her.
Negotiating with a Bully will give you the answers you need to become a more effective negotiator when you are confronted by a bully. You will learn how to quickly and easily:
- Recognize the tactics of a bully – before you yield ground in a negotiation
- Employ an arsenal of negotiation strategies, including some you may have never before considered using
- Plan a negotiation with a bully so you feel prepared to tackle the situation
- Interpret the body language of the bully – and his or her target – to better assess his or her intentions
Quotes from Negotiating with a Bully;
“The difference between bullying and negotiation is perception – the perspective someone has about bullying.”
“In preparation for fighting back, role playing will enable you to practice the strategies you will use to manipulate the bully to adopt one action versus another.”
“Adjust your strategy depending on the insights you gather as you engage with him [the bully] from one point to the next.”
“The better you understand the mind-set of the other negotiator, especially if you sense that he’s going to try to bully you, the better you can create the type of verbal and nonverbal responses needed to combat him.”
“Be aware of the mind games going on in a negotiation and always try to maintain control to display the demeanor appropriate for that segment of the negotiation.”
“The demeanor you adopt is one that needs to be designed to achieve the outcome you’re seeking and to position you so the other person knows what may happen when attempting to bully you.”
“Body language reveals the mind-set of the bully…Knowing how to decode the bully’s body language gives you an advantage in a negotiation.”
“The first thing to realize is that no one strategy will fit every situation. Situations are fluid and flexible…and adapt your response accordingly.”
2 – The Bully-Proof Workplace | By Peter Dean and Molly Shepard
Smart strategies for managing workplace bullies out of your life and business. More than one in four Americans deal with an on-the-job bully. These office sociopaths don’t just make individuals miserable. Their poison spreads throughout the company, damaging overall morale, creativity, productivity, and profitability. It doesn’t have to be this way.
Leading consultants Peter Dean and Molly Shepard have helped vanquish workplace bullying and now share their proven methods with you. In The Bully-Proof Workplace, they provide vital insight into the four major types of bullies:
The Belier | Weapons of choice: slander, deception, and gossip
The Blocker | Weapons of choice: negativity and inflexibility
The Braggart | Weapons of choice: narcissism and a sense of superiority
The Brute | Weapons of choice: aggression and intimidation
These bullies may operate differently, but they all have one thing in common: a desperate need for control based on deep-seated fear and insecurity. This invaluable survival guide equips individuals with strategies, tips, and scripts for managing interactions with bullies. Managers learn how to identify bullying, deal with it swiftly, and introduce zero tolerance for such behavior. And executives gain the information they need to create a corporate policy regarding bullying.
We spend about 60 percent of our waking moments at work. Spending that much time under the thumb of a bully and dealing with the negative business effects of bad behavior is simply unacceptable. Whether you’re a victim of bullying or a business leader tasked with building a collaborative corporate culture, The Bully-Free Workplace provides the critical insight and practical tools you need to successfully combat this ubiquitous but rarely addressed business challenge and ensure that bullies behave―or leave―so you and everyone else can get on with your work.
Quotes from The Bully-Proof Workplace;
“All bullies generate a negative and toxic work environment.”
“Standing up to your bully is a personal challenge. If it goes well, you will see the positive results right away.”
“Brutes are especially difficult to deal with because of their potentially explosive reaction to being confronted.”
“Interject if the Braggart begins to grandstand, gently reminding him that today the meeting is focused on gathering everyone’s ideas.”
“Blockers bully directly by preventing any significant input from others.”
Beliers…besmirch others behind their backs with false statements, rumors, deceptions and innuendos.”
“Confrontation is never easy, so knowing yourself and your readiness is important, as is knowing whether confrontation is safe.”
“When bullying occurs, the bully is acting out of his own self-interest.”
“Conflict instigated by a bully is more severe; it is an expression of efforts to seize control.”
“The first and most logical person to discuss being bullied with is your boss. But if your boss is the bully, this is not the most practical first step.”
3 – Overcoming Mobbing | By Maureen Duffy and Len Sperry
Research shows that as many as 37% of American workers have experienced workplace abuse at some time in their working lives. Mobbing, a form of abuse in which individuals, groups, or organizations target a single person for ridicule, humiliation, and removal from the workplace, can lead to deteriorating physical and mental health, violence, and even suicide.
Overcoming Mobbing is an informative, comprehensive guidebook written for the victims of mobbing and their families. In an engaging and reader-friendly style, mobbing experts Maureen Duffy and Len Sperry help readers to make sense of the experience and mobilize resources for recovery. The authors distinguish mobbing from bullying-in that it takes place within organizational or institutional settings-and demonstrate how mobbing is not about the occasional negative experience at work; rather, mobbing involves ongoing negative acts, both overt and covert, that over time erode workers’ confidence in themselves and in their workplaces. Demystifying the experience of mobbing through the use of examples and case studies, Overcoming Mobbing provides effective strategies for recovery from mobbing as well as for prevention. More than a simple self-help book, this guide offers a detailed presentation of the causes and consequences of mobbing, helps readers avoid falling into the trap of misplacing blame, and holds organizations at the center of responsibility for preventing this devastating type of abuse. In addition to those who have experienced mobbing, this book is an invaluable resource for workplace managers and human resources personnel who wish to prevent or reverse mobbing within their own professional settings.
Quotes from Overcoming Mobbing;
“Mobbing victims are scapegoats for larger organizational problems and conflict, the consequences of which are then blamed on the mobbing victim.”
“For better or worse, our jobs and careers become a central part of both our personal and occupational or professional identities.”
“In a sense, mobbing never ends because the effects of having been mobbed and the associated losses endure.”
“Without externalizing the mobbing, targets are doomed to ruminate and wonder ceaselessly about what they did to deserve their fate.” (Gary Namie, Workplace Bullying Institute)
“Problematic behavior is seldom, if ever, attributed to group dynamics or organizational dynamics.”
“Materials in personnel files, if damaging, have the potential to ruin a person’s career and to undermine his or her ability to make a living in the future.”
“A particular organization can be mobbing prone or mobbing resistant, or somewhere in between.”
“Research suggests that individuals who are socially excluded or ostracized act more aggressively and participate less in behavior directed at caring about and helping others.”
“The same person who found it easy to trust and rely on others before being mobbed in the workplace becomes suspicious, mistrustful and always on guard afterward.”
4 – Survive Bullying at Work | By Lorenza Clifford
Bullying at work is a serious problem for many people today. Anyone who has ever been bullied will know how demoralizing and difficult it can be, and at times it can seem as if there is no escape. Covering everything from understanding why bullies behave as they do, to standing up for yourself and knowing your rights at work, Survive Bullying can help you make the best of a challenging situation. Whether you are being bullied yourself or want to help a victim of bullying, this book is full of essential information that can help everyone move on with their lives. This book features a quiz, step-by-step guidance and action points, lists of common mistakes and how to avoid them, top tips, and lists of handy weblinks and further reading. ‘A jazzy, upfront, and contemporary looking series. Each one is focused and full of the things that it should have. Put these on the shelf and they will shout “buy me”.’
Quotes from Survive Bullying at Work;
“Sadly, no-one is bully-proof – bullies attack all types of people for different reasons.”
“Some bullying victims…decide to stay on because they no longer have the self-confidence for job hunting; their self-belief… [is] so low that they don’t feel able to get another job.”
“If grievance procedure states your manager is first port of call and your manager is the bully, go to his or her manager instead. If…in doubt, go to…Human Resources, to senior management or even to the board. These people have a duty of care to you as their employee.”
“Taking time off to attend interviews with other companies may not seem a very good idea; if the bully is [your] manager, for example, it could give him or her ammunition.”
“What reaction is your bully getting from you that makes it pleasurable? Can you…make bullying you less interesting?”
“Protect your organization by making sure that it devises and implements strong anti-bullying policies.”
“If you…decide to move, make sure [to] leave behind…negative emotions associated with the bullying…Be positive and look forward to starting again with a clean slate elsewhere.”
“Remain professional at all times, even if it’s the last thing you feel like doing.”
5 – The Bully at Work | By Gary Namie and Ruth Namie
A landmark book that blazed light on one of the business world’s dirtiest secrets, The Bully at Work exposed the destructive, silent epidemic of workplace bullying that devastates the lives, careers, and families of millions. In this completely updated new edition based on an updated survey of workplace issues, the authors explore new grounds of bullying in the 21st-century workplace.
Gary and Ruth Namie, pioneers of the Campaign Against Workplace Bullying, teach the reader personal strategies to identify allies, build their confidence, deal with toxic behavior, and stand up to the tormentor ― or decide when to walk away with their sanity and dignity intact.
Quotes from The Bully at Work;
“Sacrifice health and sanity for a paycheck? It simply doesn’t add up!”
“Bully-busting is for targets to reclaim dignity and self-respect.”
“Targets, as you will learn throughout this book, are blessed/cursed with a strong work ethic. They just want to be “left alone” to do their work. In the most bullying-prone industries, we’ve found that many employees share a prosocial orientation. They are the “do-gooders.” They want to heal the sick, teach and develop the young, care for the elderly, work with the addicted and abused in society. They are ripe for exploitation. While they focus on doing good and noble things and wait to be rewarded for their quality work, they expose their backs for the bully to sink her or his claws into.”
“Do not attempt Bully-busting unless and until you are Bully-proof.”
“The most important difference between workplace violence and bullying is that the latter is a daily occurrence for many.”
6 – Workplace Bullying | By David Leads
A bully for a boss makes life absolutely terrible Do you work for a boss that bullies you around? Do you feel fed up, exhausted, helpless, or powerless at work? You can gain back your power, your dignity, and your work life. And this book shows you how. Working for a bully boss is miserable.
A bully boss mistreats you, abuses you, and most stressful of all – threatens your livelihood. The situation is unbearable because you need a job and your boss has direct power over your paycheck. It’s easy to feel helpless. Also, the effects of a bully boss spill into other areas of your life. Since you’re so stressed at work, you carry it with you everywhere you go and the stress will make your relationships and your health much worse.
What do you do when you have a bully boss? Workplace Bullying takes you through the steps you need to take in order to feel empowered and get your life back on track. This book will teach you those steps. This book starts out with the signs you need to understand to determine if you are in fact being bullied by your boss – which is a very serious issue. Then this book discusses why being bullied is such a serious issue, and why you may have inadvertently put yourself in a situation to be bullied at work so you can understand what’s going on.
Next, the book discusses what you should do next. Starting with handling your internal emotions, this book guides you on how to document the abuse, when to stand up to the bully, how to gather support from family, friends, and coworkers, and how to expose the bully to your employer. This book also teaches you how to plan your exit from your employer and discusses the pros and cons of suing your employer.
Last, this book helps you recover from the bullying. This is a process, which takes time, but it’s a very important step in dealing with workplace bullying. You need to recover and regain your self-confidence so you can continue being productive and happy with your work life in your current job or with your next job. Recovering from a bully boss is a process. One that takes time, but one that can and must be done. Use this book as your guide in order to help you effectively recover from your despicable bully boss.
7 – Bullying Bosses | By Robert Mueller
In Bullying Bosses: A Survivor’s Guide…the main message? If you are being bullied you will most likely not be believed, and you will need to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Mueller acts as an ‘advocate’ for the abused, quickly arming them with the tools they need to defend themselves, and if push comes to shove, prove their case.
Mueller draws on his legal experience in counseling thousands of clients, to transform employees from vulnerable ‘Targets’, into confident ‘Workplace Warriors’. The book unfolds in a series of vivid anecdotes from bullied employees that aptly illustrate the many obstacles they face…
For anyone bedeviled by a bully, this will be a very useful guide on how-to-fight-back and come out ahead. One of the most valuable tools Mueller shares with the reader is the Incident Report form (downloadable at his site). Targets are instructed to methodically record and categorize the abuse on it…the process of documenting the abuse is critical to understanding it, spotting patterns, and devising methods to combat it. Like Sergeant Joe Friday from Dragnet, it asks for “Just the facts, Ma’am”…
Franke James, MFA
8 – Beating the Workplace | By Lynne Curry
They used to steal your lunch money and throw spit wads at you on the bus. Now they roam around from the boardroom to the break room looking to manipulate, intimidate, and humiliate–and eventually ruin your career! Beating the Workplace Bully is your ammunition for fighting back. Whether the bully is a boss or a coworker, this empowering guide will help you recognize what has been causing you to become a victim, then reveals how to:• Avoid typical bully traps
Remain aware and in charge
Move past your fear
Calm yourself in any confrontation• Keep your dignity intact
Handle sneak attacks
And moreComplete with exercises, assessments, and real-life examples, this personal coaching program will help you reclaim your power and defeat the office bully once and for all!
9 – The No Asshole Rule | By Robert Sutton
The definitive guide to working with — and surviving — bullies, creeps, jerks, tyrants, tormentors, despots, backstabbers, egomaniacs, and all the other assholes who do their best to destroy you at work.
“What an asshole!”
How many times have you said that about someone at work? You’re not alone! In this groundbreaking book, Stanford University professor Robert I. Sutton builds on his acclaimed Harvard Business Review article to show you the best ways to deal with assholes…and why they can be so destructive to your company. Practical, compassionate, and in places downright funny, this guide offers:
- Strategies on how to pinpoint and eliminate negative influences for good
- Illuminating case histories from major organizations
- A self-diagnostic test and a program to identify and keep your own “inner jerk” from coming out
Quotes from The No Asshole Rule;
“As much as I believe in tolerance and fairness, I have never lost a wink of sleep about being unapologetically intolerant of anyone who refuses to show respect for those around them.”
“A huge body of research—hundreds of studies—shows that when people are put in positions of power, they start talking more, taking what they want for themselves, ignoring what other people say or want, ignoring how less powerful people react to their behavior, acting more rudely, and generally treating any situation or person as a means for satisfying their own needs—and that being put in positions of power blinds them to the fact that they are acting like jerks.”
“The University of Michigan’s Karl Weick advises, “Fight as if you are right; listen as if you are wrong.”
“two tests that I use for spotting whether a person is acting like an asshole: • Test One: After talking to the alleged asshole, does the “target” feel oppressed, humiliated, de-energized, or belittled by the person? In particular, does the target feel worse about him or herself? • Test Two: Does the alleged asshole aim his or her venom at people who are less powerful rather than at those people who are more powerful?”
“Winning is a wonderful thing if you can help and respect others along the way. But if you stomp on others as you climb the ladder and treat them like losers once you reach the top, my opinion is that you debase your own humanity and undermine your team or organization.”
10 – A Survival Guide for Working with Bad Bosses | By Gini Scott
Being saddled with a terrible supervisor can turn even the best job into a nightmare. Unfortunately, not every boss is the great symbol of managerial perfection one would hope for. In fact, more people than not consider themselves stuck with a “bad boss.” But short of remaining miserable or quitting a job, what can be done about it? A Survival Guide for Working with Bad Bosses provides readers with savvy, practical advice for coping with managers and supervisors who are mean, incompetent, unethical, and worse. The book includes powerful strategies for not only working with — but thriving under — such bad boss types as The Great Betrayers — how to defend yourself against a corporate backstabber * The Know-Nothing Bosses — what to do when a boss is clueless * The Bad Communicators — how to respond when a boss is consistently unclear Whether a boss is high-strung, incompetent, or a power-mad tyrant, this book has the solution.
11 – Not All Bullies Yell and Throw Things | By Glory Borgeson
How To End the Workplace Bullying in Your Life!
Stop the Stress, Stop the Pain, Get Your Health Back, and Get Your Career Back on Track!
What is it about Subtle Workplace Bullies?
A plight is lurking about in workplaces across the world. It is in the form of certain coworkers, bosses, contractors, or even directly reporting employees. These people are sly, cunning, and tricky. Their bad behavior is usually subtle, occasionally obvious, and always stressful.
When we read or hear about workplace bullies, they’re usually depicted as being loud, obnoxious, and harassing several colleagues. The recipients of their behavior report many stress symptoms that often harm their health.
But what if you’re experiencing stress symptoms at work and no one is shouting at you, being obnoxious, or harassing you? What if someone at work is subtly badgering you, treating you in ways that demean you, and doing it on purpose?
In Not All Bullies Yell and Throw Things: How to Survive a Subtle Workplace Bully, Glory Borgeson lays out a new definition of a workplace bully whose fingerprint on people’s lives is just as debilitating as that of an obvious bully.
Identify Your Workplace Bullying Symptoms and Solutions Reading through the first half of the book, you will identify the symptoms of workplace bullying as they match up to your symptoms. Later in the book, you will read about a variety of solutions to the bullying from which you can choose which is most advantageous for you.
Identify the Bully and Know that You’re Not Alone In this book you will learn how to identify whether you’re being subtly bullied, how the bully is targeting you, and realize this happens to millions of people daily.
Figure Out What You Can Do to Lower the Stress in Your Life You will learn how to take steps to lower the stress from the bullying, which will help you to be healthier. (Bullying robs you of your health!)
Decide Whether to Confront the Bully and How You will learn what needs to be in place in order to successfully confront the bully, how to get the situation lined up if this is the choice you want to pursue, and how to then confront.
Determine When It’s Time to Find a New Job The reality is, many companies harbor workplace bullies. You will need to decide when it’s time to look for a new job – and how to do that.
Shouldn’t the company care? You would think a company would care that its employees are experiencing workplace bullying. Many companies care more about money. This book will give you details about what it costs a company to keep a bully on staff. You can arm yourself with this information if you need it to build a business case.
Shouldn’t Human Resources (HR) Help Me? One of the author’s favorite topics! You will read about the truth regarding HR. While there are some terrific HR people out there, most will not support you through a workplace bullying issue. Read about how to handle HR representatives so that they don’t hurt you, too.
How Do I Get Help From My Family and Friends? When you’re experiencing workplace bullying, you will need to get help from the people closest to you. There is an entire chapter devoted to how to get help from your family and friends. In fact, this chapter is intended to be read by your family and friends!
Life is too short! End the workplace bullying in your life now!
Final Thoughts on the Best Books on Workplace Bullying
No one should be a victim of workplace bullying. If you are, there is help. Although each situation is different and unique, these books on workplace bullying will guide you in the direction of the help you need to get, the strategies to escape and stop workplace bullying.
Do you see a book that you think should be on the list? Let us know your feedback here.