10 Hard Lessons From Dale Carnegie: How to Win Friends & Influence People

by | Jul 29, 2018 | Motivation

Dale Carnegie is an author who inspired millions, including myself. Here are the lessons that Dale Carnegie has inspired me in his own words.

Dale Carnegie

Dale Carnegie (1888-1955) born in Maryville, Missouri. He worked as a traveling salesman before teaching public speaking at a YMCA. His teachings and methods later become successful and his lectures led to crowded rooms. He started to publish pamphlets to standardize his methods and his teachings. These pamphlets were collected and organized into the book Public Speaking: A Practical Course for Business Men (1926). Other works include How to Stop Worrying and Start Living (1948). With his most popular and still influenced today How to Win Friends and Influence People (1936). He died in Queens, New York, and his self-help book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, led to a nationwide following and expanded around the world.

10 Hard Lessons 

 

Lesson 1. On Happiness

Success is getting what you want. Happiness is wanting what you get.

Happiness doesn’t depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.

If you want to keep happiness, you must share it.

Happiness does not depend on any external conditions, it is governed by our mental attitude.

It isn’t what you have, or who you are, or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy. It is what you think about.

Lesson 2. On Fear

If you want to conquer fear, don’t sit home and think about it. Go out and get busy.

Fear doesn’t exist anywhere except in the mind.

Lesson 3. On Courage

Most of us have far more courage than we ever dreamed we possessed.

Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.

Lesson 4. On Thinking

Our thoughts make us what we are.

Be wiser than other people if you can, but do not tell them so.

Only knowledge that is used sticks in your mind.

Knowledge isn’t power until it is applied.

Lesson  5. On Impress Others

One reason why birds and horses are not unhappy is because they are not trying to impress other birds and horses.

No matter what happens, always be yourself.

Nothing can bring you peace but yourself.

Lesson 6. Stop Worrying

If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there and worrying. It’s the worry that gets you, not the loss of sleep.

Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration, and resentment.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worry about yesterday.

Confusion is the main cause of worry.

Lesson 7. On Character

Be more concerned with your character than with your reputation, for your character is what you are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.

When fate hands you lemons, make lemonade.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, but it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.

By fighting you never get enough, but by yielding you get more than you expected.

Lesson 8. On Integrity

Two men looked out from prison bars, one saw the mud, the other saw stars.

When we hate our enemies, we are giving them power over us; power over our sleep, our appetites, our blood pressure, our health, and our happiness.

Today is our most precious possession. It is our only sure possession.

We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses blooming outside our windows today.

Today is the life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today.

Lesson 9. On People

Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.

You can make more friends in two months by being interested in other people than in two years of trying to get people interested in you.

Talk to someone about themselves and they’ll listen for hours.

To be interesting, be interested.

Winning friends begins with friendliness.

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.

You can close more business in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.

Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.

Action speaks louder than words, and a smile says, ‘I like you. You make me happy. I am glad to see you.

Lesson 10. On Never Quitting and Success

The successful man will profit from his mistakes and try again in a different way.

People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing.

First, ask yourself; What is the worst that can happen? Then prepare to accept it. Then proceed to improve one the worst.

If you believe in what you are doing, then let nothing hold you up in your work. Much of the best work in the world had been done against seeming impossibilities.

Do the hard jobs first. The easy jobs will take care of themselves.

Destiny is not a matter of chance. It is a matter of choice.

The person who gets the farthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare. The sure-thing boat never gets far from shore.

 

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